Let us rejoice and be merry, Christmas is here!

Original text was published in Czech magazine Psychologie Dnes 11/24. Translation by AI.

What emotions do we need to deal with before Christmas? And how can we handle the end of the year with calmness and perspective?

As therapists, we typically experience the greatest influx of clients after the New Year, in September, and… before Christmas. Yes, even psychotherapy has its own seasonality! It makes sense: all these periods are transitional in nature. While the New Year and the beginning of the school year often spark a desire for change—setting new goals, working on oneself—December has a much darker undertone.

"What will people think of me?"

Most clients who reach out to me in December are women—often married mothers who, at the thought of the upcoming holidays, fall into a panic triggered by years of experience with past Christmases. Preparations, shopping, cooking, baking, deep cleaning, decorating the house, school performances, wrapping presents, setting the holiday table… The list of tasks seems endless and practically undelegatable to anyone else because "no one else knows/can/understands like I do." These women carry the entire "magic of Christmas" on their shoulders. They are well aware that without support, they might not make it through this time again.

In our sessions, we often work on self-worth and boundaries—two closely linked topics. We examine the need for a perfectly clean home, the obligation to bake fourteen kinds of cookies, and the assumption that they must take care of gifts for the extended family.

The roots of these expectations often go deep into the history of their original families: women who insist on a perfect Christmas atmosphere may come from traditional families where duties (and gender roles) are passed down from generation to generation or, conversely, from highly dysfunctional families where Christmas was often ruined or even traumatizing due to issues like alcoholism and conflict.

A common tendency among these clients is to derive their self-worth from how successful the holidays are.

"What will I do?"

The second type of clients who seek their first consultation before Christmas are singles—regardless of gender, age, or sexual orientation. For them, the "family holiday" can be very challenging. Each has a different reason: some singles return anxiously to the world of parental rules and expectations, while others realize that a recent breakup or family dissolution might mean several days of complete isolation.

In sessions, we address the difficulties brought by this "forced" loneliness. People feel unloved, unwanted, forgotten. They struggle to be alone with their thoughts, finding it painful to reflect on their lives. They realize that they only experience happiness in contact with others, on whom they then become dependent. The bright light at the end of the dark Christmas tunnel becomes the boisterous New Year’s Eve celebration.

Seasonal Depression

The final type of "pre-Christmas" clients are those suffering from seasonal depression. They describe symptoms such as excessive fatigue, increased need for sleep, eating issues, and more—symptoms that, interestingly, recur only during a specific part of the year.

The causes of these conditions can often be pragmatic: December has the least sunlight (we lack vitamin D, which affects our energy), we exercise less (missing out on "happiness hormones"), and many indulge in festive feasts and parties (which can negatively impact sleep quality). Yet beneath these logical reasons often lie deeper issues—dissatisfaction or the need for change.

What are we actually celebrating?

The Czech Republic has long ranked among the most atheist countries in the world, yet we fiercely hold onto Christmas. Why do we even celebrate these holidays? I often ask this rhetorical question in various forms during sessions. Why do we do all this? Why do we overload ourselves? Why do we spend so much on gifts when we already have everything we need? Why do we burden everyone around us with pointless cleaning that no one appreciates anyway? Why do we decorate a cut-down tree while nature is dying all around us? Why do we gorge on sweets when we struggle with dieting all year round? It doesn’t make any sense!

The loss of meaning is also a theme that unites all groups of clients. The Christian story resonates with the difficult lives of migrants as well as the suffering of the poor. It offers hope for new beginnings but also reveals the cruelty of power and the fear of inevitable change. These few days at the end of the year allow us to glimpse the reflection of ancient rituals, the symbolism of family significance, and human togetherness—but it doesn’t come for free!

Let’s approach it symbolically

Advent is an ideal period for introspection—a turning inward to reflect on our soul and being. Is it the winter dormancy of nature or the long hours without sunlight? Everything seems to slow down, darken, and cool. Memento mori, I always think—this is how I imagine the realm of death.

The opposite, however, is true; this dark period prepares us for an upcoming transformation. In the midst of darkness, a new light of hope is born, which will gradually grow with the returning sun. During December sessions, I often light a candle. The flame serves as a reminder to my clients and myself that this difficult time is temporary and that we can get through it without bright lights and in silence.

For clients who have no connection to any faith, I sometimes recommend visiting sacred spaces. Whether it’s churches, synagogues, or other places of worship, these spaces provide an opportunity to pause. They allow us to step away from the commercial hustle of the holiday season and lead us to a different—transcendent—form of contemplation. Naturally, they evoke in us a sense of the passage of time, the human condition, and lift our eyes upward—to places from which we can draw hope and strength.

An ending that brings a new beginning

Advent and Christmas offer us a chance to look at ourselves and the world around us from a different perspective. If we can immerse ourselves in this symbolism and perceive light even in the darkest moments, we will be able to navigate this challenging period not only with ease but also with newfound hope and purpose. By letting go of perfectionism and embracing the transience of everything around us, Christmas can become a time for true inner renewal. Peace, connection with others, and deep awareness of our existence can inspire us to take on new challenges in the coming year.

Let us rejoice and be merry!