Faith in Therapy

THERAPY | DOMINIKA ČECHOVÁ | PD 1/2024

The ability to naturally trust in happy endings and good people is shaped in the first years of our lives. Not everyone starts from the same place, and adulthood brings its own wounding experiences that can erode our sense of trust. A safe therapeutic environment offers a space where trust in oneself and the world can be rebuilt.

"I can't trust her anymore," one client shares during an initial session, describing a partner's infidelity. "Can I trust you not to tell anyone?" asks a teenage client seeking a place to safely confide a heavy secret. "I don't believe I'll ever find another partner who measures up to my ex," admits another, coming fresh out of a breakup.

Faith and trust are essential concepts in therapy; yet, they are often elusive, hidden, or slow to emerge.

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Faith Without the Church

When the topic of faith arises with clients, I pay close attention. First, I ask if they come from a religious background, as faith and trust hold unique meanings in such contexts. If not, I carefully explore how they define these terms and what they mean to them.

Outside religious settings, I often find "faith" to be a hollow word, perceived as outdated or irrelevant. Clients may express a mix of envy ("It would be easier if I could believe in something.") and disdain ("In the 21st century, I can't believe in some God sitting on a cloud."). Together, we cautiously navigate this terrain of "rational reality."

In therapy, we don’t just ask *what* to believe in, but also *who* or *what* is worthy of trust. This quickly brings us to discussions of values, convictions, and life priorities. Yet, we soon discover that a value system isn’t a fixed framework. Instead, it’s a space filled with dilemmas, uncertainties, and contradictions. Clients often recognize they want to trust in their abilities but lack confidence. They want to believe in lifelong love but simultaneously suspect their partners of betrayal. They long to rely on others but have been conditioned not to trust anyone.

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Emotion or Skill?

When it comes to trust, therapy treads on thin ice. Trust seems neither a skill nor an emotion—or perhaps it is both at once. The capacity to trust in good outcomes or good people is shaped in early childhood, a time when we experience the world as helpless beings entirely dependent on caregivers. Without intense care and protection, survival would be measured in hours or days.

Children whose developmental needs for eye contact, nourishment, care, and safety are consistently met are likely to trust the world as adults.

However, those who grow up neglected—emotionally or physically—surrounded by stress, discomfort, or violence, start with a very different perspective. They quickly learn to see the world as a dangerous place and adapt accordingly. Aggressive communication, emotional walls, and repeated patterns of conflict often become survival strategies.

Thomas A. Harris's book *I’m OK, You’re OK* explores this topic beautifully. It also highlights how some children, even in difficult circumstances, encounter supportive figures—a librarian, teacher, or friend’s parent—who help them glimpse a different kind of life.

Therapy often serves as such an encounter, offering a professionally guided space for clients to rediscover faith and trust.

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Building a Safe Therapeutic Environment

A therapist must, above all, be trustworthy—transparent, predictable, and reliable. Setting and maintaining boundaries while attuning to each client’s needs is crucial. Confidentiality and adherence to ethical standards are non-negotiable, as outlined in the [Ethical Code of the Czech Association for Psychotherapy](https://www.czap.cz).

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Faith in Clients

Every therapeutic process begins with a first session. Even before meeting a new client, I consider my own mental and emotional capacity, experience, and limitations to assess whether I can meet their expressed and unspoken needs.

To work with clients, I must trust in my own skills and in the self-healing processes that exist within every person. At the same time, I experience anxiety: Will we connect? Will I be able to help them discover their strengths and resources? Will we understand each other?

My faith can waver when clients fail to show up without notice. I may feel anxiety about whether I said something hurtful or wonder if the collaboration is progressing well. However, I trust the principles of the therapeutic process and use strategies to convey that I was expecting them and still consider them part of the process—if they wish to continue.

For some, this may be the first time their actions do not lead to conflict. Others may feel, perhaps for the first time, that someone cares for them despite missed expectations or "forgetfulness." Handled well, such moments can strengthen the therapeutic relationship.

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Faith in Oneself – A Prerequisite for Successful Therapy

Clients who move beyond the initial testing phase of trust are better equipped to work on their self-confidence. In the early stages, I help them build faith in themselves through verbal affirmation, highlighting their successes, small changes, and progress. These comments aren’t forced—I genuinely celebrate each accomplishment!

This phase of therapy can feel like "better" parenting, where corrective experiences help clients rewrite negative patterns into more sustainable and mature behaviors. Over time, they begin to believe in their ability to achieve, cope, and overcome challenges.

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Faith in the World – The Conclusion of Successful Therapy

Believing that the world is a good place and that people are inherently kind is, in today’s climate, a challenging notion. Fear looms everywhere, eroding faith and breeding anxiety. Fear silences us, stops us, and paralyzes our ability to act. It whispers that others will betray us, that we shouldn’t let anyone in, and sometimes, that we should hate.

When clients find the courage to enter a new relationship after a painful breakup, they are expressing faith. When they choose to speak assertively rather than remain silent, they are trusting. Faith allows us to overcome vulnerability and connect with others, despite the risk of being hurt.

Faith alone doesn’t protect us, but it makes us stronger and braver in creating a better world. Let’s seek and nurture faith—not just at Christmas but throughout the new year!

Original text was published in Czech magazine Psychologie Dnes 1/24. Translation by ChatGPT

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